Rapture-Proofing Your Pets


Are you a Christian? Do you believe in the pre-tribulation rapture of the church? If so, have I got great news for you!

You, as a pre-trib, Holy Ghost-filled, rapture-believing Christian can put your worries about your pets behind you knowing that your beloved furry friends will be well taken care of should you be magically removed from this mortal coil by the coming in the clouds of our Lord.

Fortunately for you, atheist Bart Centre has concocted a plan to care for your beloved pet in the event that you are raptured outta here. His company, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets has a 100% guaranteed atheist associate who is willing and able to assist you when you leave this world behind.

The terms of their agreement are fairly simple. For an up-front fee of $100, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets will take care of your pet in the event that the rapture occurs within ten years of payment. Additional pets are $15 each and you also get a 25% discount to sign up again after the 10-year term expires.

Apparently, 100 people have already signed up for this important service. Centre splits the proceeds equally amongst his all-atheist work force. Of his employees, he says…

They have to be ready. We commit to reaching a person’s pet within 18 to 24 hours after the Rapture.

Unfortunately, services are not offered to states where a rescuer is not currently based in the same state.

All kidding aside, this is apparently an actual company. However, my question is since many atheists claim to be moral people, how can they, in good conscience, take money for a service they believe they will never have to provide? Centre provides that answer himself…

Being an atheist does not mean we lack morals or ethics. It just means we don’t believe in God or gods. All of our representatives are normal folks who love and live for their family, and are gainfully employed and have friends of varying beliefs…

Umm…Mr. Centre, if you had ethics you wouldn’t actually be taking people’s money in the first place.

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One Response

  1. Thanks for the blog. The Rapture is still on schedule. You might be interested in “Becoming superheroes …in the twinkling of an eye” http://7drizzles7.wordpress.com/2010/02/22/becoming-a-superhero-in-the-twinkling-of-an-eye/

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